Tips for Staying Calm

[WARFAB]

I'm currently working under a senior staff member who likes to yell and make disparaging comments towards people. I've realized this is just who he is and how he operates. I've also realized that I need to become better equipped to handle his dysfunctional communication style.

What does this have to do with firearms training?

Being able to better control how I respond to non-lethal external stressors at the office will probably make me better equipped to deal with more serious stressful situations.

When this coworker starts yelling and making belittling comments, I realize that my natural physiological responses aren't helping me. I don't typically respond in anger, but my thought processes definitely become inhibited to some degree. I've realized that when he 'pushes my buttons', I get a bit of a fight or flight response with a bit of adrenaline dump. I basically miss a few minutes of whatever happens to be said after his outbursts because my mind is no longer thinking rationally.

In a work meeting, this isn't a huge deal. But, since this happens regularly, I figured it might be a good way to practice my mental responses to stress in preparation for more serious situations. I figure learning to keep my cool is never a bad idea.

Anyone have any suggestions or tips for staying mentally focused and calm in stressful situations?

[stokes]

Just punch him in the face and your stress level will be ideal, and he will think twice before berating you.

[Norm DeGuerre]

My experience with people like that is when you confront them, they pussy out
I was an Engineer one time, working for a GM that was a total azzhat
Every morning, he was always in a bad mood
He decided to escalate things, and started poking me in the chest

He prolly did not expect to wake up the floor. ????????????
Next day, he was gone. And I was GM.

[stokes]

Hey, Norm, why is it this "Riding bareback since 1989" only shows up on my response when you show up? Starting to worry about you.

[Norm DeGuerre]

Well
That is interesting Stoked
Perhaps your dreams are splicing over to the Forum. ????????????

[stokes]

My dreams? Your the onedoing me a favour by putting it there, seems to be some preverted issue I have.

[stokes]

Beginning to see why this is a dead/dying forum.

[WARFAB]

Luckily these things are only verbal harassment at this point. If they're was any physical contact then we'd be having a different conversation. Keeping my wits about me would still be a wise thing to learn regardless.

[Norm DeGuerre]

Time for open carry at work ?? ????????????

[Norm DeGuerre]

I would attempt to Record thesrr interactions

[WARFAB]

I would attempt to Record thesrr interactions

I'm not the only one. His natural firm of communicating seems to be yelling at people. He can be normal sometimes, but the yelling is always nearby.

[Norm DeGuerre]

Anonymous Letter to upper management ??
" 5 people are going to walk out if this continues'
I would say that of you quit UnRmployment would he a sure thing If you have what ??
27 weeks in ??

[WARFAB]

Anonymous Letter to upper management ??

I think upper management is already aware. It's weird.

[big flash]

I think you're perspective is pretty good warfab, it's worth using as an opportunity to sharpen some skills.
I've dealt with this a couple of times in my career. it's pretty common on construction sites and I had one boss when I was a laborer that was a particular @sshat. I saw in the newspaper this summer that he was found guilty of something pretty heinous and ordered to pay $6m over it. so it was good to hear it coming back around to him. that is really all I could tell myself when I worked for him, that his actions were a reflection of him and had nothing to do with me and he was destined to get his too. truth is, he probably already had a pretty miserable life and that's why he acted the way he did anyway. not that it's an excuse, but I started to feel bad for him, not intimidated. I also figured that he realized I was destined to leap frog him, and that added fuel to the fire.
just keep your cool and breathe.

not related to that sort of temperament but I use to basically see red in even a casual work conversation every now and then when communication was difficult or the other party was seemingly inept. I've found that breathwork makes all the difference. I also had a long run where I would listen to a lot of philosophy and psychology podcasts while I was working. that helped with increasing my awareness and gave me a better understanding of other's perspectives

[Norm DeGuerre]

I had one Employer, Ed Mathis tell me he had a mind to take me outside and teach me s lesson. ,????????????
Being 20 or more years younger, I said WE DON'T HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE

[Norm DeGuerre]

Flash.... I remember fist fights at Job Meetings.
Watched John Springer, prez of Javen Construction get knocked out of his chair in a meeting in my construction trailer at Kodak Elmgrave. . .

[big flash]

yeah it's gotten a lot better or I'm just on better jobs but it used to be something else for sure!

I've worked with Javen on a few jobs over the years! don't remember ever working with John though

[WARFAB]

I really need to work on this. The usual suspect came in all you and bothered today. He picked his topic and brought his usual level of intensity and coarseness to the topic of the day. My coworker and I immediately matched his level and next thing you know we're all yelling at each other.

I need to learn not to match his intensity level. I need to counter with calmness when he goes hot. I figure that's going to be my first growth goal from this.

[Norm DeGuerre]

Nooo. Willie
Feed his anger .....Push him into something he will get fired for
The F##k that I worked for took the bait