An experience with firearm safety, or lack thereof

[24Pink14Stink]

OK, so my cousin recently got his pistol permit. He wound up buying an M&P 9mm and wants to take his sons shooting this weekend. I had some 9mm laying around and offered to share with him since he didn't have a lot on hand. So I stopped over at his place last night to drop off. He runs away to go grab the piece to show me and starts flagging everyone in the place... his wife, the step daughter, the dog, then he got to me. Since I noticed what he was doing and where he was headed, my hand met his wrist to keep the muzzle away from me. We sit down for a bit and he sets it on the coffee table - slide locked back, no magazine in. The muzzle is pointing directly at me so I gently redirect it so it's not pointing at anyone in the room. He does this twice over the course of 20 minutes, then wants to show me how it breaks down. He racks the slide a couple times and his step daughter in the other room asks, "what's that noise?" To which her mom answers, "the gun. But don't worry, it's not loaded."

I quickly added that it's best to act like a gun is always loaded and the kids shouldn't touch them with out an adult right there.

So clearly my cousin needs some help with general firearms safety and I chose not to address it on the spot, in front of his family. If I did, I probably wouldn't have been overly kind about it.

So now I need to have a conversation with him about it and mention what his wife said.

Any tips on tact? Or is it best to just say what needs to be said?

ETA: I was hoping he would get the hint by my actions, but he clearly didnt.

[dwa12479]

Yeah, that's never fun. I flipped on my brother in law last summer when a friend of ours had his S&W Bodyguard on him. He cleared it, and they were effing around with the built in laser, pointing at people and giggling like a couple idiots. I finally snapped when I saw the red dot on my man parts.

You may go the subtle route to begin with, maybe email him a video. Hickok45 does a very good one on the 4 rules that I've showed to people before. It's only 12 minutes, so it's not overly long.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQrlDUIZ3f0.

You could preface it with something along the lines of "hey, every new shooter should watch this video and get familiar these rules to avoid any accidents. Thought you might like to check it out". Maybe then take him out to a range? Keep a close eye out for violations.

[thughes]

Man, that would have been a great opportunity to educate the whole family about fire arm safety! Obviously it would have to have been done in a respectful and tactful manner, something I know you are capable of but it sounds like your mindset wasn't right. Too bad the moment slipped by but I will commend you on not strangling him in front of his family. Perhaps get him out shooting with a few of your friends and simply teach by example (like we do at the swamps)?

[VARMINT223]

He's a NY PP holder? I remember my PP classes; Dave the instructor was anal about assuming nothing. Be persistent in your efforts even if he's dumber than a tenderfoot scout working on a rifle merit badge. See if you can get him to an inside public range that employees RSOs. Otherwise put his trigger hand down the garbage disposal.

[tdpark]

Sit him down and have a talk- then have him watch the video and tell him to man up and stop acting like a kid with a new toy. Then tell his wife- always assume it is loaded and never mess around with it. Tell him to teach his wife how to clear it and then have him lock it up. Then tell him next time he acts like a fool- you will slap him hard upside the head in front of whomever and you will chew him out our for being an idiot.

[Cory]

Heres my advice. YMMV.

I wouldn't tell his wife anything, or TELL him what to do. Nobody likes being told how things are going to be, and it may just turn everything sour between you too. Plus you telling his wife what she should do or how she should think... it might make him feel like your stepping over your bounds "I'm the head of my family, man of the house, tough guy in charge hrr durrr"

The guy looks up to you. You are the one he wanted to show his new pistol too, because he is excited about it and you are the like minded butmore experienced person. So use that angle. Get him to the range ASAP. Even if it isn't an official range, get him out to shoot. Then make a large point of saying "You clear?" when you go to check your targets and after every time he shoots. Be up front with one rule: "If I'm down range, the gun is unloaded and on the table. I just get nervous with guns pointed at me, its kind of a bad habit ya know? Sorry if that makes me sound like an ******* but it is what is man. Wanna shoot my ___?"

The formal gun rules need to be discussed, but in an informal way. Maybe talk about home defense, and tell him his wife should know how to use it too just in case. That gives him a reason to bring it up to her and talk about things.

A bull in a china shop has no friends. If he kills his family being an idiot your not any kind of friend. Bring it up casually and let your persistence and example hammer it home.

[24Pink14Stink]

Heres my advice. YMMV.

I wouldn't tell his wife anything, or TELL him what to do. Nobody likes being told how things are going to be, and it may just turn everything sour between you too. Plus you telling his wife what she should do or how she should think... it might make him feel like your stepping over your bounds "I'm the head of my family, man of the house, tough guy in charge hrr durrr"

The guy looks up to you. You are the one he wanted to show his new pistol too, because he is excited about it and you are the like minded butmore experienced person. So use that angle. Get him to the range ASAP. Even if it isn't an official range, get him out to shoot. Then make a large point of saying "You clear?" when you go to check your targets and after every time he shoots. Be up front with one rule: "If I'm down range, the gun is unloaded and on the table. I just get nervous with guns pointed at me, its kind of a bad habit ya know? Sorry if that makes me sound like an ******* but it is what is man. Wanna shoot my ___?"

The formal gun rules need to be discussed, but in an informal way. Maybe talk about home defense, and tell him his wife should know how to use it too just in case. That gives him a reason to bring it up to her and talk about things.

A bull in a china shop has no friends. If he kills his family being an idiot your not any kind of friend. Bring it up casually and let your persistence and example hammer it home.

I tend to agree with this approach most, and for the reasons you mention. He's like that.

I think I might approach it by explaining to him what I observed and focus on my concern for him and his loved ones.

[Cory]

I want to clarify... in my post above I actually meant to use the word too instead of two. I meant like also.

All the other mistakes were my ignorance.

[Calculon]

I think you should be direct and tell him what you observed one on one. There are tons of videos on YouTube where "instructors" with "safe" or "unloaded" firearms have an ND that either surprises them at best or hurt themselves. Not saying you should berate him but as he is looking for your guidance is suggest you give him a "safety briefing" that he can use with his family and friends to help educate potential new shooters. There is no excuse for sweeping himself or anyone else with a firearm regardless of its status because,as we all know, there are no second chances.

When I took the NRA Basic Pistol instructor course the instructor was adamant about muzzle discipline and gave everyone a warning - muzzle me once and I'll warn you, twice and I'll send you home. This included using blue training guns. Made everyone very sensitive to it. Gave us a great test with a blue gun at the beginning of the class. Handed a blue gun to the closest person and asked that we safely pass it around the room. While no one muzzled another person we ALL muzzled ourselves (legs, feet, lap as we were sitting). I bought a training gun that night from 2adefender.com so I could safely instruct my own friends and family. Once you become sensitized to it it's much easier to practice it at all times.

Sorry to be long winded on this but you have the opportunity to help and set hm down the right path.

[Cgrutt]

Show him this video first.

Peshitta happens.

1. Treat a gun as if it is always loaded. Period.
2. Finger off trigger until sites are on target and you're ready to shoot.
3. Never point a gun at anything you don't intend to kill or destroy.
4. Know your target and what's behind it.

Pretty simple actually.

Then tell him next time he points a gun at you (or someone else) he very well might have one pointed back at him in self defense. No joke.

[Calculon]

Show him this video first.

Peshitta happens.

1. Treat a gun as if it is always loaded. Period.
2. Finger off trigger until sites are on target and you're ready to shoot.
3. Never point a gun at anything you don't intend to kill or destroy.
4. Know your target and what's behind it.

Pretty simple actually.

Then tell him next time he points a gun at you (or someone else) he very well might have one pointed back at him in self defense. No joke.

That's the vid I was thinking about. Thx for posting C.

[24Pink14Stink]

We talked. He was cool about it. Going shooting with him in a couple weeks.